Wave of Mutilation

I've had waves of sadness today. I think it is because I am less distracted by worrying about how the people around me are going to be affected by this change.

He looks sad. He said he's happy that I look so happy. I tried to remind him that I'm sad too but that I'm in motion because I have so much to get done.

Sometimes I wake up scared in the middle of the night. I do get nightmares but also because my vision is poor, the shadows look like monsters. It sucks because it was always comforting to wake up with him by my side to protect me. I'd like to think that with less stress, the night terrors will stop.

cease to resist, giving my goodbye
drive my car into the ocean
you'll think i'm dead, but i sail away