Blood is Thicker than Marriage

I've been sorting through junk drawers and splitting up our stuff. I'm cleaning and trying to make things simpler for him when I leave. I know he's not helpless but sometimes it feels that way. I feel awful at the thought of him feeling lost or confused in his own home. It kills me to think about him suffering in even the tiniest way. So says the woman who asked for the divorce. I organized the wires to the internet/router/fax crap and I wondered why I hadn't done it sooner. I'm cleaning things for the last time and it feels very strange.

And I wandered through the house like a little boy lost in the mall
And an astronaut could've seen the hunger in my eyes from space

My mom, sister and her kids are coming to town to visit for a week. We had this trip planned a long time ago and since they took the time off work, they decided to still come up. We considered getting them a hotel but M insisted they could stay here and that it would be okay. He said he'd stay away most of the day and with him sleeping upstairs, and us on the other side of the house, we'd be fairly separate and private.

He said he was feeling anxious about their arrival. It hit me how hard this must be for him. To have people show up that you have considered family for 5 years and now they are just... people. We know we love each other and we are committed to being excellent friends forever but there is a mental switch that is unavoidable. We are not family anymore.

I fear I have not felt the worst of it yet.

Oh, What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?
What do I do without you?