I have experienced an impressive range of emotions over the last few days but have not had adequate internet connection to post. The annoyances of this married life are helping my mood about my transition.
I'm looking forward to the callus on the back of my ring finger going away. I've had this for 5 years because the ring he bought me was too big and I had to have small spacer balls welded on the back to make it fit. This was always a source of aggravation for me because I swore at the time he lied about the size ring he bought for the purposes of rushing our engagement. At the time, he lied about a lot of things.
I bought an amazing macbook with my engagement ring money. Wished I had done it a long time ago. It didn't take me long to realize I am not a "rock" kind of girl. I don't care about expensive jewelry. I don't care about big houses. I don't care about country club pool parties. No - I don't "don't care" about those things - I actually don't like or want them. I definitely changed over the years. Bloomed? Refined? I found myself and it was not in this home.
He accidentally sent me a text that was intended for another girl. I was shocked to find that I did not experience an ounce of jealousy. I was shocked. Then I was disgusted because I was brought back to when we first met. He was dating someone and I was the new girl. A lot of drama ensued. I was unaware of his mastery of manipulating words and events to make him appear innocent and to emerge the hero. He has grown a lot since those days but I tasted a remnant of that time and I wanted to vomit.
No comments:
Post a Comment