Devils and Dust

I've had some light romantic distractions. Just 2 dates with the new guy and some conversations with old flames. What I realized is, that no matter how I have tried to cautiously control and manage the situations... I am being distracted from the grieving and the pain. I can't allow that to happen. I need to fully process this so I can complete it and move on. So, with this realized awareness, I'll adjust accordingly.

I got my finger on the trigger
But I don't know who to trust
When I look into your eyes
There's just devils and dust

M and I continue to maintain a light friendship, seeing each other maybe once a week, handling things and exchanging favors. A friend was concerned about our arrangement and suggested that we needed more separation. I thought about it carefully. We're trying to do things differently than it's usually done, so I get that this scenario is unfamiliar. But is it counterproductive? For me, I don't think it is. But perhaps it is for M. This decision is not entirely mutual. Although he's pretty broken up by this, he expresses that maintaining this friendship helps him cope with the loss. But is it too soon? Is it hindering his healing?

I don't cry as often. When I do, I cry with more force. Purging. Ugh.

I got God on my side
And I'm just trying to survive
What if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love
Fear's a powerful thing, baby
It can turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God filled soul
And fill it with devils and dust