Scared.

I work part-time as a vocational evaluator for people with mental health issues who are trying to reenter the workforce. I have a client who is suffering from extreme PTSD and depression. She is trying to return to work after a year off and we came up with a great plan for her. We are starting her off part-time in a low stress environment, with lots of support and accommodations worked in. She appeared completely non-responsive when discussing her plan. Blank stare. I initially attributed her affect to her being so heavily medicated for her conditions, but the rehab counselor asked her, "If there was a job to apply for tomorrow - how would you feel?"

"Scared.", she replied.

If someone asked me, "If there was a guy who asked you on a date tomorrow, how would you feel?" I would say the same thing. I have been too busy getting my home in order to do much socializing. But the idea of even talking to a guy terrifies me right now. I don't feel single yet. I feel like I am experiencing my own small dose of PTSD.

This is probably a good thing. It is unusual for me to leave a relationship without some kind of romantic distraction on the back burner. Much like he is doing... that's usually me.

Everything will be so different the next time around.