More Real With Every Day

We had to remove each other from our respective banks today. It must've been awkward for the bankers that helped us.

Banker: "How can I help you?"
Me: "I need to see about changing the authorized users on my bank account."
M: "We're getting a divorce and we have to take me off her account."

While we sat in the chairs as Banker clicked away at his computer, we discussed weekend plans and swapped random stories of recent happenings. I'm going to L's golf tournament this weekend. It's important that he knows I still love him and I plan to be a support in his life.

Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Cause I've seen the dark side too

M had a breakdown in the car. The girl that was initially distracting him moved away, so he's got more time to himself to soak up the loneliness. He's not taking it well. I told him it's been only 3 weeks since I moved out - he's not supposed to be over anything yet. On top of all this, his ex-wife is creating some issues for him. He said he feels like he has no power in his life. Things are just happening to him that he has no control over. Positive coping would help him but above all, it'll just take time.

So, if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now

Banker1 notarized our divorce papers for us. She gives the worst motherfucking customer service in history - always has.  I drove away from the bank and the crying just poured out of me. It's like I can feel the little pain demon tearing his way out of my heart. I gasped for air for about 30 seconds and then it just stopped. I don't want to be with him but my brain is still programmed to want to take care of him.

I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you