Caught Inside a Dream World

Sometimes I get sad that I don't get to have that pristine, magical fairytale. I suppose I almost had it once. Looking back, I don't think I knew myself well enough for that to work out.

Then I tried again, but that was a crock. I tried to manufacture the fairytale - trying to pick up where I had just left off - but the prince was all wrong and somehow I ended up the wicked stepmother instead of the princess.

So I'm trying again. I couldn't ask for things to be better than they are and I feel really good about my choices. But I feel like an old woman. I don't have the innocence and naivete of a princess falling in love.

And even if I get that magical love I've always wanted... my story has been tainted with divorce and stepchildren. Of course these things aren't bad, but they're not ideal.

Every now and then I stomp my feet and pout and wonder, Why didn't I get to have the fairytale? Why can't I experience a first marriage and a first baby with the man who will be my only husband and I'll be his only wife. 

And a long-forgotten fairytale
is in your eyes again
and I'm caught inside a dream world
where the colors are too intense
and nothing is making sense
There's a floating town of eiderdown
in a mist of mystery
There's an old enchanted castle
and the princess there is me
decked out like a Christmas tree