I had a dream that M was absolutely awful to me. He crashed a little party I was at with some friends, and came in and just started telling me off. He was completely losing his cool and while I spat verbal insults back, I maintained my composure. My friends and other attendees of the party were witness to how uncool he was being and in the moment - I felt justified in my divorce.
I remember feeling some relief. I often reflect on how an angry and hateful breakup feels easier. It's probably not nearly as healthy as a communicative, loving breakup, but it does feel easier. It allows you to turn that person into a monster and to block all those hurt feelings with anger. Of course the hurt that is not being acknowledged will just hide out only to resurface in moments of weakness.
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