Omens.

After my wedding, I sent my gown in to the dry cleaner we always used. After a couple of weeks, I was wondering where my dress was... I kept calling the cleaners and sensed I was getting the run around. I went in one day and the woman at the counter let me walk back to the machines to see where my dress might be. She pulled out my 'dress' which did not look at all like that beautiful, full, satin, pearly gown I gave my vows in... but it looked more like a dingy, shriveled kitchen rag.

I was thinking... So you're telling me you use those fancy cleaning machines to remove all traces of this thing looking like an actual wedding dress and somehow you're gonna breathe some dress-life back into it? I'm no laundry technician but something did not look right and I expressed that. She looked nervous and told me it "wasn't done yet".

A week or so later, I got a call from the owner telling me they had "lost" the dress. I got a pathetic credit for dry cleaning services and a small check to reimburse me for what I could re-sell the dress at. (I planned to sell the dress immediately... that should have been a pretty good indicator that I wanted out.)

Oh, man. Omens.

For a Moment

Dear You,

Disregard the feelings of shame and regret I have been trying to inject into your heart all of these years. You should actually be proud of all those moments of bullshit, dishonesty, manipulation and misrepresentation. For they are Gold Medal Olympian Moments - winning like any moment in history possibly could. They are lasting and remembered, long after they have ceased to be actually occurring. Engraved. Those moments are like a powerful historical figure, except more Hitler than MLK Jr. because those moments are killing other moments that just want the chance to breathe and grow in the space of love and freedom. I had a dream that I could contain, control, release or forget those moments.

Momentarily yours,
Me